Happily Ever After
Life in The Rural Retreat with a beautiful wife, three cats, garden wildlife, a camera, a computer – and increasing amounts about running
by Russell Turner - 17:36 on 11 February 2019
Suddenly it’s quiet in The Rural Retreat. There’s still a full complement of cats but Matchgirl is away in Shetland, dodging Viking germs (they’re rampant, it seems), and the in-house stress level has dropped dramatically. It’s all down to our new bathroom.
The last few weeks have found The Interior Design Queen poring over catalogues and feverishly browsing the internet in a bid to find the perfect combination of bath, sanitaryware, shower (and screen), taps (they’re extra, you know), vanity cabinet, radiator, lighting, floor coverings, wet-wall coverings and dry-wall paint available within her budget (as the state of my bank balance means I’ll be adding little financial support).
This has caused much angst. Do we want classic, rustic or modern styles? How wide should the bath be? How high should the shower screen go? As for the paint, someone who has difficulty with two choices was always going to struggle with a palette of squillions, each colour one Pantone different from the next. We settled in the end for a shade named Dance of the Goddesses. It still looked white to me.
Work is scheduled to begin on Monday, assuming that everything Mr Plumber and Matchgirl have ordered arrives in time. He, and presumably his assistant, will have got down to business (touch wood) a few hours before Matchgirl returns from Shetland, which means she may be in time to see how they get the huge old iron bath downstairs. There could be carnage.
By the end of next week (please) our tatty bathroom, probably little changed since the Seventies, will become a haven of peace, tranquility and relaxation. Just as well. I’ll need somewhere to go when discussions begin on the kitchen revamp.
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