Happily Ever After
Life in The Rural Retreat with a beautiful wife, three cats, garden wildlife, a camera, a computer – and increasing amounts about running
Earlier posts can be found on Adventures of a Lone Bass Player, where this blog began life. Recent entries can be found here.
The Only Way Is Essex
by admin - 22:47 on 09 November 2011
Captain Gnome's first mate returned from a fact-finding mission to the fleshpots of Essex today with startling news: “I've seen the future, and it works.”
The new regime planned for the good ship GNoME has already been implemented there and the staff love it. Everything runs smoothly, voices are never raised and all the workers get their lunch breaks. Media paradise.
A few dinosaurs, unable or unwilling to embrace the brave new world, were left behind, and the diversity of the group's newspapers has been reduced to three straitjacketed styles, but, it seems, the only way is Essex.
Not having the vast resources of south-east England to tap, where Cap'n G will find her dinosaur replacements is open to question. I'm sure the admirals know what they're doing.
So all the sails are set, GNoME is gathering speed for its great voyage into the unknown and I'll soon be cast adrift in a leaky life raft. The end is not yet quite nigh – a tow rope has been offered, just in case Cap'n G requires emergency assistance.
However, she might not get it. More oil has been found in the Falklands, where my hopes of early retirement remain. If it weren't for greedy bankers and financially improvident Greeks the share price would have soared. As it is, with luck I'll soon be back in profit. Matchgirl might yet get her Antarctic adventure.
The jet-setter returned home today, after lording it over her Mulberryless mates in Shetland. The handbag has been duly adored and already acquired its first slight scuff mark. Life's hard in the real world.
Scaffolding Update: Returning from my day aboard GNoME in the dark yesterday, it was only this morning I found that half of Mr Foreman's poles had disappeared. The rest had gone today. Bess will be sad.
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